Building Emotional Resilience: Feel Confident Asking for What You Want

Our goal is to learn how to ask for what we want; be able to resist pressure from others;
and maintain our point of view.

Using the DEAR MAN Skill

  • Describe the SITUATION/PROBLEM; stick to the facts
  • Express your FEELINGS and OPINIONS about the situation; don’t assume the other person knows how you feel
  • Assert yourself by ASKING for what you want; don’t assume the other person knows what you want
  • Reinforce your request by focusing on why your request is important to you
  • Mindful – Keep your focus on YOUR REQUEST; don’t be distracted or let them get you off topic
  • Appear Confident, EVEN IF YOU DON’T FEEL IT; no whispering; no stammering, no staring at the floor
  • Negotiate – Be willing to GIVE something TO GET something; ask for other solutions to the problem; focus on what will work